At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
|—||Aziz Ansari (via versacespaghetti)|
"i need a movie where there are kickass female characters"
"i need a movie where the main characters aren’t attractive"
"i need a movie with annoying talking animals"
"i need a movie where the main character lives in a swamp"
"i need a movie that has all star by smash mouth on the soundtrack"
i honestly dont know how, when early 2000s dreamworks execs were faced with producing a cheap and fast knock-off capitalising of the success of finding nemo, a movie composed of celebrities faces mo-capped and pasted onto uncanny valley fish people, fish puns, baffling attempts at hip-hop culture, mafia movie tropes, a plot stolen from a spaghetti western, a subplot shitting on L.A and jack black converged into existence but The Lord finds a way
Witnesses say they asked Britney why she shaved her head and her response was, “I’m tired of plugging things into it. I’m tired of people touching me.”
i can never not reblog this
T-Pain: “That was the most beautiful thing in the world. Do you know why she was shaving her head? Because it was so important to other people. She is like, “Listen. Don’t touch my hair anymore. Stop touching my hair.” People were like, “We’ve got to make your hair before you go outside. You can’t leave.” She went … “Now I don’t have hair. What you going to do?”
The older I get the more her breakdown seems less ‘unbalanced’ and more ‘completely understandable’
"I coulda dropped my croissant"
THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE VINE
HIS LITTLE SCREAM
|—||Ezra Koenig (via onlinecounsellingcollege)|
is tesco feeling ok
Game of Thrones Theme (1986 Remix)
Google is celebrating Diana Wynne Jones’s 80th today!